||[Jun. 5th, 2005|12:21 am]
Reasons to laugh at Velvet Acid Christ
Haha, this one from http://forum.ogrish.com/archive/index.php/t-26864.html is funny as hell, and right to the point:
AP)-Controversy swept Hot Topics and Vampire LARPS across America today, as the much talked about new film The Passion of the Velvet Acid Christ opened in industrial clubs nationwide. A dark, violent, and disturbing film, “Passion...” tells the story of Bryan Erickson, a Colorado native who wandered the nation, preaching love, understanding, “Seven” samples, and the fact that “Skinny Puppy couldn’t scratch my jock.” Borne out of a rage unparalleled (we know that because of how many swear words he used), Erickson’s sermons soon found an audience among disaffected CinnaBons attendants everywhere...until he was crucified by a horde of angry rivetheads.
"I think this film is a powerful and moving account of what I went through for your sins. I am the Industrial Jesus," said Erickson, who then proceeded to call the interviewer a "f*cking prick."
Critics have noted the huge risk that Erickson has taken in making the film, as the endeavor was entirely financed by $5 that Erickson was given by his mom for lunch money.
Audience opinions varied wildly.
"My favorite part was where Bryan got made fun of, and then he threw a tantrum and smashed his room! But, he didn't just stop there! No...he SPAMMED EVERYBODY ON RMI ABOUT IT!! That's muthafuckin' HARDCORE!!!" said 16 year old Ricky Phillips of San Jose.
14 year old Melanie Swartz proudly held up her very own bloody nail, available EXCLUSIVELY to the first 3000 theatergoers.
"I will finally be as cool as the Mansonites at school! R0x0R!!!" she said.
For his part, Phillips is eager to see the film once more...just as soon as he's not grounded anymore. Said Phillips, "All the jocks gave me a wedgie in the bathroom yesterday, so this film SPOKE to me on a MYRIAD of levels."
Not all viewers were so sanguine about the film's effects, however.
"A film about VAC?? What the hell is this shit?!!," said Pope John Paul II, "Why doesn't anybody make a Pzycho Bitch film instead? How bout those TITTIES, huh?!"
Others were troubled by a scene where one rivethead warns his peers, "If we should crucify this man, then his blood shall not only be on our hands, but on the hands of all generations...or until 'Headhunter' isn't played in clubs anymore, which may as well be ETERNITY!"
"I think this film is grossly unfair to the industrial music population, said Mark Redding, "We would never crucify Bryan Erickson, we'd just give him an ATOMIC WEDGIE in the bathroom!"
One thing's for sure. Whatever your opinion on this film, somebody will sample it.